Begin Again

Perfectly Imperfect - begin again

„Be not the slave of your own past . . . plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and swim far, so you shall come back with new self-respect, with new power, and with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old.“

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

No other yoga style has ever made me think about the following more than vinyasa yoga: My own capability to do certain things (and not to be able to do them). The other interesting view is: How good was I in doing something in the past, in the present and in the future? The reason for this might be that I have never „failed“ more in my yoga practice than in a vinyasa class. You either can hold crow pose, or you fall out of it. You are able to do a handstand or you are not able to. Vinyasa Yoga is all about failing, forgiving and trying again and again. There is no other yoga style like this. Everyone is able to do a wide-legged forward fold in a yin practice. But when the teacher says: „Take a few hops into an arm balance, if it’s in your practice“ - that’s when our inner voice might say things like „you can’t do this, you are too heavy“ or „don’t even try, remember, yesterday you failed“. In difficult poses, our mind gets loud and tells us stories why we are not good enough to hold specific poses. 

The beauty of Vinyasa Yoga is in facing the truth: Where am I now? What am I good in right now and what do I have to work on? Totally becoming peace with where I am right now, opens the door to begin again. From that state, I am not scared to fail, I am curious to see how things work out today (especially after failing previously) and I allow myself to play. Maybe I wont be able to do a handstand, maybe I won’t be able to do it in the next two years. However, I will only find out by trying.

In my personal practice (and as a teacher in the future) I truly believe that not only encouraging, but also reminding myself (and the students) of the following is gold: Every class is different and every attempt to finally hold a new pose is a new one. Totally blending out what happened yesterday, last week or a month ago will keep the motivation up to try that specific pose again. And failure will bring us closer to holding the pose eventually. That attitude will also manifest a new idea on life in general and how we deal with difficult situations. Instead of simply giving up, we start to face situations with more curious and playful thoughts. We stop assuming to know how situations will turn out. Instead we will accept that every moment and every situation is completely new. Getting stronger in vinyasa yoga and finally becoming able to hold more difficult poses will strengthen our body, and our believe system. Thoughts become actions and actions become habits. We will transform the „I shouldn’t even try, I will never be able to do this“ thoughts into „I give myself the chance to try. I say yes to the practice and to this challenge. I don’t take failure too seriously“ in our yoga practice and in our daily life. 

The last important part that I absolutely love about yoga practice is the fact, that failure simply can’t be taken seriously. When I am in my favorite vinyasa yoga class and we are all getting into crow pose (or trying to), my teacher always says: „And don’t have fun, ok? Fun is not allowed in this room“. Even more hilarious is when she says: „And if you fall out, you are a bad person, don’t forget that“. By saying loud what our minds try to tell us, makes it sound ridiculous and stupid. We take life, failure and perfectionism too serious. I love these little reminders of my teacher that make us become aware of these thoughts. We understand that our mind is trying to trick us into giving up by providing us with evidence why we shouldn’t begin again. Keeping a consistent vinyasa yoga practice made me understand when these stories bubble up and how to deal with my inner voice. Becoming aware of it is the first step in the right direction. Instead of giving up, I give myself the chance to try and fail and sometimes I even succeed.

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Thoughts about Protein?

I recently get this question a lot: What about the protein?

Before I started going to the gym 5 times a week and starting my „bodybuilding“ training, I never really thought of protein. And in these two years of bodybuilding training, I was already on a plant based diet, however I made experiences that I will never forget: 

1) My recovery was way better than the recovery of my non-plant-based gym buddies.

2) I was constantly thinking about protein, how to get more protein and on top of that I was tracking my calories on an app called „My Fitness Pal“ just to ensure that I eat enough calories and enough protein.

Now, over three years later, I feel so much better, not following these crazy weight lifting plans and smashing in the protein shakes, protein bars and tofu blocks (Yes, I was eating a whole silk tofu block mixed with one scoop soy vanilla protein for lunch). Out of my personal experience I can say that eating these huge amounts of protein has nothing to do with a healthy lifestyle. 

I am convinced that there is nothing like a protein deficiency existing. Nobody has ever died because there was a lack of protein. I understand that there is a huge industry behind the myth that incorporating more protein into the diet will make you gain and keep muscles easier (this one is often used for men’s protein product advertisements) or it will satisfy you longer so that you need less food throughout the day and will lose body fat (this one is used especially for women’s protein product advertisements).

In the end all we need is plants. One cup of lentils contains so much protein, even rice is full of it. Did you know that one lemon contains 16% protein? There is literally no food that contains no protein. As long as you eat enough food, you won't be suffering from a protein deficiency.

And, last but not least, people forget or often just don’t know that humans can’t use the complete protein from the food they eat. First the body has to take it apart into the single amino acids, then the body builds its own protein. So technically it would be totally fine not to eat any protein at all (which is not possible, because as I mentioned, any food contains at least a little protein) but simply eat amino acids. Amino acids are found in fruits, dark leafy greens and vegetables, in anything. That would explain why I didn’t die of a protein deficiency six years ago when I was on a raw vegan diet for one year eating mainly fruits, dark leafy greens, nuts and vegetables.

So enjoy your pumpkin soup tonight because it is full of deliciousness and protein.

Vegan Thanksgiving Dessert: Pumpkin Pie

What would Thanksgiving be without a pumpkin pie?

Nothing. This pie is made with a nice typical salty (only slightly sweet) crust and a pumpkin filling which has a great texture and is completely free of dairy and even soy!

Last year, I made the pumpkin pie with mainly pumpkin puree and silken tofu, this year I was excited to try a different variation that I found online, which was made with coconut milk. 

I dont think using soy is a bad thing, it was simply curiosity that made me try a different recipe. I used the same crust as I did in the Katy Perry Pie (see it here), but I added a little bit of sugar to the crust dough. 

For the usual pumpkin spices I used a mix of cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and allspice.

What can I say? The cake is simply delicious! Its sweet and it makes you not even realize that its vegan.

Here I'm going to share my vegan thanksgiving pumpkin pie recipe.

Here are the ingredients for one pie:
Crust:
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour (I substituted 4 Tbsp of flour for sugar)
1 cup vegan butter (e.g. Becel)
1/2 cup ice cold water
Filling:
1 3/4 cups (1 14 oz can) pumpkin
3/4 cups coconut milk (use fat not low-fat)
1/2 cup brown sugar (I used the brand rogers, their brown sugar is made with molasses)
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup cornstarch
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/3 tsp allspice
1/3 tsp ginger

Instructions:
For the crust mix the flour, sugar if substitute with the butter in a big bowl, and slowly add ice cold water (sometimes I need more, sometimes less, depending on the butter I use). When the dough is sticky enough, form a ball and place it in a tupperware in the fridge for 1 hour.
Preheat the oven to 350° F (180°C). 
Roll out the dough until its big enough to cover your pie plate (9 inch). Carefully lift the rolled-out dough into the pie plate and shape the crust, maybe create a decorative frame with a fork.
Combine all ingredients for the filling in a high speed blender (if you don't have one mix them in a big bowl well). Pour the filling into the pie plate and bake for one hour. When you remove it, the pumpkin filling might not be completely hard, let it cool down and if possible let it sit in the fridge for at least 4 hours until set. Preparing the pie on the day before and letting it sit in the fridge over night will intensify the spices and flavors.

One Breath, One Movement.

"One Breath, One Movement" - is probably what sums up the past two weeks the best.

But let me sum it up chronologically. This is almost a celebration for me, because on September 21, 2016 my Yoga Experience started, so it's my one year celebration now!

After completing the Yin Yoga Training with Bernie Clark this past summer, I saw the positive effects of finding depth in a pose and holding for time. (Read the full article here.) It opened my eyes, how important it is to stretch out and put specific stress on bones and ligaments, so they don't get weak over the years. I understood that because we have so much 'Yang' Energy in our lives already, so pressing the 'Pause' button sometimes makes us even stronger. 

I saw how good it is for me to get consistent in my yin practice. If I am writing, texting, producing, working on ideas for 23 hours a day (ok, maybe only 15 hours, because I sleep 8 hours), I should really invest one hour of mindfulness a day. Meditation really improves concentration and memory, and yin on the mat is gold. Actually it's still a struggle to roll out the mat and finally do the practice, because yin can actually be really painful (the ones of you who do yin regularly know that the best feeling is coming out of a pose). 

However, there is a reason why I was so drawn to Vinyasa Flows in the last months. I love moving on my mat and building up the fire that mirrors my life. 

Vinyasa is a raise in energy, a short warm-up with Sun Salutations, followed by a couple or three flows depending on how long the class is, and a cool down. Every inhalation and exhalation is paired with a movement, sweating is normal and working to a peak pose is normal. These peaks can be known hatha asanas, they can also be more advanced with options to play. For example the switch from Koundinyasana 2 to Koundinyasana 1 was a great experience for me. I finally understood what the Mula Banda is and how light your upper body can feel.

And the ones that are close to me know it, I went through all emotions in these two weeks (don't ask) haha -

but let me share the things that I actually learned:
- To be successful in anything you need two things: Motivation & Inspiration.
Motivation: Is what you do to prepare, to make everything as easy as possible. If you want to lose weight, this would mean for example writing down what you eat every day to have an overview. If you want to start establishing a running routine, it would mean to prepare everything the night before, for example placing the running outfit, the garmin and the shoes, so getting up in the next morning and running is as easy as possible.
Inspiration: Well. If you don't have inspiration, your motivation will not bring you to your goal. Inspiration is the why? Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to run? Just looking good on a certain event will not be enough inspiration, trust me. It's similar to just running for a special half marathon. It won't be enough. You need to see the bigger picture, of being healthy, having a good time traveling to a race with your friends, or using running as a meditation.

- Fear comes up when you struggle with a pose on your mat (for example arm balances) or in life with a challenging situation. If we stop breathing deep and start judging ourselves because of the fear, the emotion becomes quite stressful and sends lots of unhealthy stress hormones out (Cortisol). 
How do we deal with fear, how do we avoid fear? Well, to be honest, there is imo no solution on avoiding fear. It will always be part of your life. Dealing with it is easy when we accept that fear (especially fear of failure) is a part of our existence. It simply is there, not being judged into something good or bad, its just what it is. As soon as it is nothing that you try to avoid, your fear automatically loses the power to control your life. 

Also, one little personal thing: Doing yoga at 7 am in the morning is great, it's just not for me, haha. Seems like I enjoy a slow start into the day with a lovely cup of tea more than moving a lot on the mat, for the next little while, I will switch back to my evening routine.

However, I'm really grateful for the experience, I learned a lot and I made some great connections, especially with people like Alyssa, Camilla or Helen, to name only a few of them.